All the Presidents in One Story

Here on Orcas Island we have several school choices, plus the option of homeschooling. Our family has done a random mix of things, based on what seemed best for each year. Our older son and I were sitting at the kitchen table learning about the Presidents a couple years ago and I said, “Someone should write a story that has all the Presidents’ names in it for kids who are trying to memorize them. That way the storyline could help them remember the order.” I got a piece of paper and started writing one, stream-of-consciousness style. This was the result…

George was washing tons of apples he picked. Not the same kind that caused Adam’s fall from Eden. No, George got his over in Jefferson County where his father got mad a’ his son for picking so many. So many that George’s friend Solomon rowed a whole boat full of apples back home. That’s way more apples than Adam’s sin resulted from. Even the lumberjack’s son got to take a bushel back with him to Van Buren town. Harry’s son too. The cementer and the tiler missed out, though, busy poking and prying off old tiles. The tailor also missed out, having to fill more gaps in the mayor’s wardrobe with fancy suits. He even pierced his finger with a sharp needle in the process. The metalsmith missed his chance as well, having to imbue canons with pewter, including every link on the heavy canon chains. He’s John’s son, Grant. He’s a really good guy with an eccentric cat named Garfield. Are th’r reasons he chose to leave Cleveland and live here? You bet. Harry’s son, after asking him about life in Cleveland, told him about the opportunity of makin’ Lee a gate and Rose a veldt for their imported African gazelles. They live down the way. Grant did such a good job that Lee and Rose taffed (local slang for telegraphed) their nephew, Will’s son, Harding Coolidge Hoover, who first suggested to Rose a veldt as her fantasy backyard. A true man – tall, dark, handsome, blue eyes – an’ how’r the girls in his town able to resist him? Anyhow, H.C.H. gave Lee and Rose – his kin – a D in imagination. So John’s son, Grant, made a fantasy into reality. He put a nix on following the norm. Thanks to him, the gazelles even ford a river that a cart or wagon couldn’t cross. With the town’s arborist, Ray, gone, Grant had to create a unique bush structure in one area. With his friend, Clint, in the front and he in back, they carried one bush after another into the man-made savanna. He even got ahold of a Ugandan shea tree for Rose to make a balm o’ chapstick to sell at the local market. Her chapstick trumps the ointment sold by the traveling snake-oil salesman. She uses the money she earns to buy apples for everyone who doesn’t get a chance to pick them.

(American flag art made by Angelo Vaccarella, a participant in the local Children’s Christmas Market this year. If you would like to purchase a particular custom-made, one-of-a-kind flag, please contact his mom.)