Honoring Skyler

This blog and the book that came from it exist because years ago, a friend gave me encouragement at a poignant time. I was standing in Sequel chatting with Michelle Gregg, and I mentioned that I was considering starting a blog about the island. She said, “Edee, if you start a blog, I will read everything you write.” Wow. Those words helped propel me into a whole new journey, which has provided a place for all my thoughts and photos ever since. I thanked Michelle at the end of my book…

Today, I am full of thoughts and emotions for Michelle and her family. Little did I know that the post I would one day write about her would be this. She and her ex-husband just lost their son, Skyler Gregg. He died in Ukraine, trying to help other people heal from all the brokenness.

Michelle, I don’t know where you are, but wherever you are, we all have you in our hearts – parents who watched Skyler grow up, peers who went to school with him, teachers who taught him, and people who observed from afar. You know how Orcas is – we all laugh together and we all cry together. If you need to come home and cry, wail, and be held, this community is ready to embrace you. You and Steve raised your children here, and I know I speak for hundreds when I say that if you are alone wherever you are, you will not be alone if you come back here to grieve.

I always liked Skyler. I used to point him out to our son when Skyler was in high school and our son was in elementary. I didn’t know a lot about Skyler, but I knew from brief interactions that he was genuine, polite, and kind. I remember thinking things like, ‘That’s the sort of person I hope my son is like when he’s a teenager.’

Many years went by, and I ran into Skyler at the Co-op, perhaps a year or two ago. It was the first time I had conversed with him at length about life. He told me about school overseas, some deep struggles he had emotionally and with some governmental systems, and going to Poland and meeting people there who were genuine and kind to him. It turned out to be my only lengthy conversation with him. Later I learned that some of the lovely people he met were Ukrainians. When Putin was doing senseless things to Ukrainians, Skyler decided he couldn’t just sit and watch.

When we got the Sounder one day and saw this on the front page, we were dumbfounded. If you knew Skyler, this was a jaw-dropping image.

My husband and I read the accompanying article.

I think we can all feel invincible at times. When I heard that Skyler had left to fight for the people of Ukraine, I hoped he would indeed be invincible.

Not too much later, we heard that Skyler was hurt. When I went looking for news about him recently, I found this article. He apparently recovered and went back into the thick of it to help, this time working with people who needed assistance, rather than fighting in the wilderness. I don’t know how he died, but danger found him.

I just started reading The Alchemist today. Our son’s English teacher recommended it and lent me a copy. It is about following what your purpose on earth is – that each of us is here for important reasons and we can either follow our individual calling or set it aside. Skyler’s drive to follow his calling wasn’t dulled or muted by first-world luxuries and comforts.

From the comfort of my cozy house, cozy bed, and predictable cozy meals, I think of the relative heroism of Skyler flying to a war-torn country and putting his life on the line for the sake of giving others a chance to have even an infinitesimal hope of the things that were stolen from them – freedom, health, family, education, joy, laughter, and a future.

Sometimes music speaks in ways we can’t. I’ve been blasting U2’s Where the Streets Have No Name, a song I haven’t listened to for a long time until today. It embodies the ethereal, the senseless, the emotional, the gritty, and the tragic nature of a young man seeking his purpose and losing his life, even if that wasn’t what the band had in mind when they wrote it.

I’m blasting this one in my house as well in honor of Skyler.

Michelle, Steve, and Birdie, if you need some sort of all-day or multi-day gathering in which to grieve with others and you don’t want to have to make it happen, let us know. We in the school, the church, and the community will come around you if the last thing you need is more time to grieve alone.