We need to think long and hard as a community about providing the youth of this island with a place to have innocent fun together. I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I have talked about living elsewhere purely for the sake of our kids having things to do as they get older other than resorting to technology on rainy days.
Raising young ones here is a delightful fairytale, tiptoeing through the wet, drippy woods on explorations and overturning endless rocks at the beach to collect little crabs. Kids who grow up here don’t realize how good they have it. But once they are in their tweens and teens, unless they have a natural affinity for hiking or cold-water Wim Hof-style swimming, there is little to do that they haven’t already done a thousand times. Sure, I’m happy with walking the same route every single day. But I’m okay with being boring – I’m 48.
Sure, kids have homework, sports, chores, and family time. But that’s not enough during the winter. When every single weekend is rainy and a kid who isn’t interested in being on the basketball team is finished folding their laundry and doing their dishes, what next? As a parent, I’m not interested in having our kids’ friends over just to play video games. Once kids have grown out of playing with toys and building LEGOs together, reality sinks in quickly – unless they have certain projects to work on that span large amounts of time, what do they do in the meantime?
We as adults have our fun writing books and plays, working on cars, quilting, managing organizations, you name it. Thankfully, our older son can’t stand being idle and always made the best of things by working on science kits and dreaming up endless science projects of his own from scratch. But what if that’s not the norm but the exception? And working on projects still doesn’t fill the social fun gap that kids (and adults) need to fill by hanging out together somewhere besides their living room. If I know this to be true, I know that almost every other parent out there must get what I’m talking about.
The seasons are starting to change, and the sun is out this week, but it doesn’t mean it will stay. And we will have the dark season upon us again before we know it after a summer of extroverted lake swimming and bridge jumping. If we don’t collectively think about this issue as a community, we are ignoring a huge elephant in the room. When almost every Saturday from November to March kids awaken to rain and gloom, going outside isn’t an option most of them consider anymore. Especially when a laptop or iPhone is within reach. After four to six months of being inside, even when the sun does finally start to come out, I see how the indoor technology habits stick with a lot of non-sporty kids. Adults too. That inertia and those neural pathways are strong.
I walked on Eastsound Beach and Crescent Beach three separate times yesterday because it was so beautiful and sunshine-y. I passed two teenage kids. Two. Where are the rest of them? I’d be willing to bet at least 50 percent of them were still at home on screens. Maybe it’s closer to 98 percent. When you spend your “fun time” on screens, other normal things in life like hanging out at the beach when the sun finally comes out can seem boring in comparison. Especially if you’ve done them since you were a toddler. The crazier thing is I didn’t even see many local adults. At times, I was the only local on an almost-empty beach aside from a visiting family or group of couples. It was downright odd.
Kids can’t go anywhere to do something different unless it’s an all-day trip to the mainland. (Again, adults are in the same boat too.) And escaping the gloom is out of the question unless you have a rich aunt who can fly you to California for the weekend. Who has that?
Island kids flock to the library not because all of them want to read but because it provides one of the only indoor spaces where all kids are welcome. Go there someday after 3:30 and see. It’s great. Thank you library! But it’s limited by space. And the activities aside from hanging out together are either book-reading or gaming. (I’m not knocking you, library. You’re providing a space these kids desperately need.)
My husband and I were out walking a few weeks ago and sat down on the new Windermere bench in the sunshine. We happened to notice in the window that the Lower Tavern is for sale. How awesome would it be if a place like that was a youth hangout, where kids of all ages could go to play pool, sing karaoke, eat pizza and burgers, and be with friends? A place that’s not just a restaurant but a true hangout where ADULTS had to order at the back kitchen door if they wanted take-out…
To read the rest, click here to go to my column in theOrcasonian.
Photo from https://www.bizbuysell.com/Business-Opportunity/Established-and-Thriving-Tavern-on-Destination-Island/1998034/
Oh boy. I went through this when I headed the drug abuse task force many years ago. Identified as a risk factor was “teens have no where to hang out.”
At their request, we funded sofas for one of the school lobbies. It didn’t take long for the sofa cushions to be flying through the air.
Terry Anderson and I spent months rennovating the Grange. His own teens and their friends would fool around there while we worked. I think we had some real arcade games. They could play with the sound system. Terry could have recorded them even.
When it finally opened, here is what happened: the teens told their parents they were coming to the teen center, then once here, having an excuse, escaped and went elsewhere with their friends.
Here is the Cadillac of hang out places. The Fun House was originally geared to all ages. It had a bank of fully loaded apple desktops. It offered sound recording studio ( the founder of it was a professional sound engineer). It offered a baseball pitching hallway with Mph display. Seems like it is devoted to childcare now.
All along, the teen real wish was to have a secret den somewhere, free of any adult supervision. They wanted a mainland shopping mall.
Ok, here is what worked along those lines. One of the grants we gave out was to Suzy Frazier, to purchase a bunch of tap shoes for her new classes. The kids would quickly outgrow them, and the shoes were passed along. Suzy’s classes kept growing and growing, with more and more kids coming in. And the older ones becoming choreographers. The Orcas Talent shows were epic! Now the Orcas Dance Collective and the aerial troupe are awesome
Similar then was the marimba gal, who passed away a few years ago. How many learned that huge instrument from her?
The basis for doing a community analysis was easy…reduce drug abuse by identifying the risk factors and the Protective factors in the community. Do things to reduce the risk factors and enhance the Protective factors. Gretchen might still have the training materials.
What happened to the Fun House? That’s really what it was built for.