Do you live your life based on what you think you should be doing? I don’t necessarily mean career-wise, even though that applies too. I mean how you choose to live your hours and minutes. Do you make your little moment-to-moment choices based on what you feel drawn to do or on what you think life expects or needs you to do? Do you tend to do the little things you feel motivated to do rather than the little activities you’ve decided you have to do?
You may not know why you’re feeling motivated to do certain little things, or what the purpose of doing a particular activity is when you can predecide that there are more important ways to spend your time. You may even judge the little things you’re pulled to do to be inconsequential, so you don’t do them, choosing instead to “make wise use of your time” with activities that sound “productive.” But what if those very activities you’re drawn to that you deem possibly inconsequential are actually the important things you’re here for, even if you don’t know why ahead of time?
What if instead of doing the productive-sounding tasks you think you should do, you choose the activities you’re drawn to do – and find that you are actually synching with other people and other purposes in ways you could not have planned or predicted? Do you know what I’m saying? It is tempting to make daily choices based on the many different “important” reasons we can come up with for doing them, before doing them. But what if by following a natural urge to spontaneously connect with someone along the street, or start creating something before you even know what it’s going to be, or take a walk down a lane that goes nowhere, or sit by a pond in the rain, or lie in bed in the morning to continue contemplating something that never gets fully thought about every other day when you jump out of bed, simply because you feel drawn to do it, actually has ultimately exponentially more meaning than doing what you think you “should” do or you’re “supposed” to do with your bits of time each day?
Unfortunately, I think some people can live their whole lives deciding what a good use of their daily time will be, totally ignoring what they are naturally drawn to do because they can’t figure out what the purpose of the latter is before they do it. What if they never really live the important life they are here for? I think generations of people are ingrained in living this way. In going along with the status quo. In doing what the workforce tells them to do. In living how their culture feels is acceptable. In steering clear of activities their parents thought of as lazy or unworthy or unproductive. Or whatever reason stymies them from taking the path of that little voice inside of them that says, “Hey, instead of doing that practical thing on your list right now, let’s write in the journal.”
If you tend to be the type of person who plans everything out and checks off all the bullets on the list of tasks you think you need to do each day (aside from work), I encourage you to let go of the internal judge that weighs the daily choices you make. (I’m not talking about the moral stuff – being moral and ethical is good. I’m talking about the productivity stuff.) Instead of living by a verdict of what is sensible, logical, important, or productive, let yourself indulge (ooh, is that word too indulgent?) instead on what is meaningful, fulfilling, even a little thrilling. Are there some pretty simple things you never let yourself do that would feel almost thrilling if you allowed yourself to do them?
There is an amazing interworking of peoples’ lives, and things that are deeply important that we cannot see or predict, but we tap into every time we listen to our gut when it tells us to do something or talk to someone or make something or go somewhere or try something or take a particular path. I think we islanders see the results of that all the time. You know, you always seem to run into the person you want to talk to. Or you cross paths with a person and it changes your whole day.
Whatever you feel strongly motivated to do, listen. That pull is reason enough to follow its call. There may be some reason for it that you won’t know ahead of time, or will never know. You may change the trajectory of your life, connect with people you never imagined, or change someone else’s life for the better. And you’ll never be able to predict that stuff.
Decide not to predecide that any certain activity you feel drawn to do will be a frivolous waste of time or a lazy thing or a meaningless activity, because we are all here for a reason we don’t know, and may never figure out. If you “indulge” in daily following your gut – and also your bliss – you may start to see a meaningful pattern in your life. Your days may indeed begin to be full of meaning in various, fulfilling ways. Following your bliss isn’t synonymous with easy. You are most certainly drawn to doing all kinds of things in following your bliss – some are simple, some are complex; some are easy, some are difficult; some are comfortable, some are uncomfortable; some are restful, some are nonstop.
If we live this life squelching the things we naturally want to do in each moment in favor of the things we think we should do, we might be missing the purpose of life altogether.
In a larger way, are you struggling with what you were put here for? It might be very simple. Just look at the things that bring you joy daily, and do those things, as my neighbor just said the other day. Not only will your natural-born talents, interest, and abilities guide your life, your gut is always telling you things from moment to moment – to step up and say something to someone, to work on something when you don’t know why, whatever it is. Let yourself be fully you, unconstrained by boundaries you’ve put on yourself, how you communicate with others, what activities you choose, and so on.
For years, I wondered if perhaps I was supposed to sacrifice who I was in order to make sure other people had what they needed. That was a struggle inside of me my whole life, even though I don’t even think my parents taught me that. I think it was what I assumed about God, and what Christian culture taught me. But now I think God is different, either from what’s assumed and passed around in Christian culture or from how I interpreted Christian culture to be. Whether the fault is in how people live out biblical teachings or the fault is in how I perceive those people and those teachings, I thought that might be important to share in case you have experienced the same things. What I believe now is that if everyone lives out the daily, internal, moment-to-moment nudges we feel, we may be exponentially more helpful to the world than if we predecided what we “should” be doing instead.
Today, may you live the fullest you that you are, doing all of the things that you are drawn to do, however magnanimous or minute they may be. Because again, what you may judge as inconsequential things just may turn out to be dramatically important, you just don’t know it yet.
So go on. Compliment the stranger on the street when you feel it waiting in your mouth. Stop someone on the street and talk to them because you feel drawn to do so. Call that person about the lessons you’ve always wondered about, even if you never end up doing them. Start being creative before you’ve decided what the project even is yet. Replace that couch in your living room with a little podium and microphone so you can have the joy of an open-mic experience every night when you get home from work. Clear your stuff out of the way and put in a ballet bar so you can have the little thrill of leaning fully into who you are. Walk through town because you want to go on walkabout, even if you don’t know where your walk is taking you.
Yesterday I walked past Brown Bear Baking and remembered I still might have some money on a gift card from my son. I went in and asked how much remained. Then, instead of waiting for a (different) rainy day and squirreling it away for later, as I always do with gift cards, I decided it was okay to follow the nudge that was saying, “get a latte and a muffin and sit down at the window and enjoy it.” I love being by myself, but I rarely treat myself to something in town, I never drink coffee, and I never just sit down in the morning and relax. Do you know how amazing it felt to enjoy every bite of that muffin and every sip of that pumpkin latte? I loved the music that was playing, loved looking out the window, and loved watching all the townfolk walking and driving by in the wet, pitter-pattery morning hours.
I decided not to prejudge what level of importance that experience might hold, since I may have called it only an indulgence before doing it. But it turned out to be a really life-giving indulgence that for some reason I think I will remember. For some reason I can’t even articulate, it was important. It gave me something for the rest of the day that I haven’t felt for a long time. And it wasn’t the caffeine. Caffeine doesn’t sit well with me, and it made me regret that I forgot to ask for decaf. That aside, I needed that experience and somehow came away with some different perspectives on some difficult aspects of my life that I hadn’t previously gotten elsewhere or from other moments of introspection. They are perspectives I can’t even put words to, yet they lightened the burdens I was carrying.
Before taking the time to write this, I could have prejudged it to be an essay that goes without saying, since there are a lot of enlightened folks in this world. Or that it’s elementary. Or that there are more important things to use the time for. But my gut pulled me to write, and I followed it. Whether it’s important for me to write or important for someone to read, I don’t know. But I believe there is worth in heeding the pull, whether I learn about it later or not.
Today, I could have easily ignored the pull to set aside my back-up list of things and spend time with others. I listened. My list remains undone, but after walking and talking with a friend, I had a huge realization about a new project I want to begin. I wasn’t searching for a new project, yet this idea actually solves some big questions I had that I wasn’t previously getting answers to. I am so happy about this, as it will create an area of fulfillment in my life that really matters to me.
May you, too, heed what your gut is telling you to do as you move through the moments of your day. You may find your life’s path starts diverting – in ever-so-minute bits or perhaps big chunks – heading toward newness, fulfillment, joy, and even sparkle.
