Happy 93rd year to my friend, painter and writer Frank Loudin – our own Norman Rockwell. I will publish each of his ten episodes as they correspond to the right time in each season about Orcas Island’s beloved coffee and goodies store, Teezer’s, which is now a place in our memories and in island history.
Teezer’s Twists: Silver Hair
It’s just after 10:00 on a sparkling October morning. The first autumn leaves in the patio are caught up in a breeze off the Sound, swirling around with a Snickers wrapper and the lid from one of Teezer’s coffee cups.
Patsy’s yoga class is over. Pam’s Power Hour is over. The regulars from the Fitness Center have dried off and are hungry. Teezer’s Geezers are present in force, gathered at the two back tables and along the wall.
The one common denominator here is silver hair or, in some cases, little or no hair. In fact, that is the subject for discussion.
“Frank! You’ve lost your ponytail. What happened? Did Jannie cut it off while you were sleeping? Like Sampson?”
“No. Suzie the barber did it. I told her I wanted to be the best looking guy on Orcas, so I needed a new look. You know – younger, sleeker, faster.”
Tony, without even looking up, mutters, “You should get your money back . . . and maybe even bring charges.”
“Did you save it?” Dotty asks, running her hand down the back of Frank’s head.
“Naw, it wasn’t long enough for that. I thought maybe the Pentagon would need it to make bomb sights for B-17s, but I guess that time is over. Remember when girls used to do that for the war effort? I bet somewhere there is an old U.S. Government warehouse full of ponytails.”
Frank stares out the front window at the clouds over Turtleback. “Do you suppose, if I went to that warehouse and rummaged around, I could find Martha Miller’s ponytail that I used to lust over when she sat in front of me in study hall?”
Jannie nudges him with her elbow, “If you could find it, it would probably smell like an old beaver pelt.”
“Remember when girls all had ponytails and those long skirts?” Bob asks.
Jannie runs her hand through her short hair. “Yeah. Then we all went to short hair and short skirts.”
“I liked that,” Frank says, and the other guys nod in agreement. “There was a vice principal in my school, a female Home Ec teacher named Clarice Phelpery, who would measure the length of the girls’ skirts and send a note home to their mothers if they were too short. One mother sent back a needle and a spool of thread and told the teacher to do it herself.”
“Yeah! Way to go, Mom!”
“Nowadays we should be satisfied if they have on any clothes at all.”
“I think I’ll get studded tires this year,” Bill announces to the room.
“El Nino or something is supposed to cause a hard winter…they say.”
“Hmmmm,” they all nod and sip.
“I’m gonna get shot for shingles,” Bob announces.
“I knew a guy in the Marine Corps who almost got shot for something like that,” Frank says.
“You sure knew a lot of weird guys in the Marine Corps, didn’t you?”
“Why do you think they accepted me? They knew I would fit right in.”
“We have a friend who had shingles. It is bad stuff, and it can last a long time,” Elsie informs.
Bill butts in, “There was an old woman in my hometown that had shingles so bad she got the shakes.”
“Then I suppose she got aluminum siding and a metal roof,” Jannie snickers.
They all nod and sip.
“We have to get a new water heater,” Bill announces.
“Oh, man,” Bob groans. “Are you going to get it here or go to Lowe’s?”
“I’m getting it from Costco. They’re a lot cheaper.”
“Yeah, and they are made overseas from old torpedoes, and you can still see the Japanese Navy writing on the side,” Frank’s imagination is working again.
“The Library Board is looking for a new member. They need new blood.”
“Don’t look at me. My blood is old and tired and can’t stay awake after dark.”
“Every board in town is looking for new blood. You can even be president if you don’t watch out. At one meeting I dropped my pencil, reached down to pick it up, and when I straightened up, I had been volunteered to be a judge for the Fourth of July parade.”
The Geezers have all been on committees and boards and study groups and consulting teams, etc., etc., and are now content to just sit back at Teezer’s with a second cup of coffee and watch friends and neighbors come and go.
With this group, there is no limit to subjects. Sometimes the talk can go from the popularity of shark fin soup in Hong Kong, to Sarah Plain, and back again without a hitch.
Rusty comes in, orders two Debbies and a Rusty at the counter, then turns to greet the Geezers.
“You have drinks named after you in here?” Frank asks.
“Yeah. Don’t you?” Rusty grins.
“Only if I change my name to Vicente Nonfat Quads Hot,” Frank replies.
“Actually, that isn’t a bad idea. You can call me by my last name, Mr., or maybe Sir Quads Hot. What do you think?”
Mike announces, right out of the blue, “You know, the fire chief wants to have a boat for the fire department in order to take emergency patients to Bellingham when the weather is bad, or at night, or something.”
“They going to dig the ditch right up to the fire station?” Dotty wonders.
“No. They’re going to build a giant slide from the station down the slough to the Sound.”
“Yeah, in the summer they can give rides to the tourist kids. It’ll be like the Matterhorn at Disneyland,” Frank adds.
“We’ll need a Tinkerbell and a Goofy. Got any ideas?” Bob chuckles.
“Yeah,” Tony says, “Mark and Carolyn can do that. They know everybody and are used to handling tourists.”
“Okay, but you have to ask them. Which one would be Tinkerbell?” Jannie asks.
Thank God, that conversation died a natural death like so many Geezer talks.
The crowd breaks up, leaving for the post office, market, Napa Auto Parts, Suzie’s Barber Shop, to help at the Food Bank or the Senior Center, heading home to weed, stack wood, or any of the myriad chores that seniors have to contend with.
Mark wipes off the tables, picks up a scrap of paper from the floor, carries a tray of dirty dishes into the kitchen, and quiet settles over Teezer’s…for a moment.
Author’s Note
Every small town or neighborhood has a place like Teezer’s – a little spot where folks of all persuasions gather early in the morning to discuss the weather, ball game scores and other mundane things, carefully avoiding anything that might be so controversial as to disrupt the tranquility that folks need to start the day off properly.
I only wish that everyone who reads this already has or can find a similar enjoyment somewhere to what I found in the twists down at Teezer’s, thanks to Mark and Carolyn Bledsoe and their superior coffee and goodies.
Teezer’s is now inside Island Market, which is carrying on their flavor traditions, and the tables are open for gathering.
Edee, you should write a play about Teezers.
Loved this piece, Edee!
Thanks for writing Frank! I will always remember those wonderful mornings at Teezers and those geezers who hung out there.. They always made me laugh and I could count on a hug. Or two. I miss you guys and the days when Rusty would order “a Rusty and a Debbie.”
Love you guys!
Debbie